If I Die Young
by Sophia Isobel Theoreux
Summary: Inspired by the song "If I Die Young" by The Band Perry. Echizen Ryoma deals with betrayal of five whom he would give up his life for in a heart beat. They wanted to run after their dreams, he gave way. Now they are on a search for the missing part of their hearts who they had taken for granted. Ryoma's time is ticking and it won't be a 'happily ever after' in the end.
1. Prologue

**DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN THE PRINCE OF TENNIS FRANCHISE NOR THE SONGS THAT WILL BE INCORPORATED THROUGHOUT THE WHOLE STORY. THANK YOU**

**This is inspired by the story ****Forfeit**** (I'm sorry I don't remember who the author was but it was a heartbreaking yet nice ending story) and the song ****If I Die Young**** by the Band Perry.**

**I warn you all now, this story will not have a happy ending. I have been knows to kill Ryoma in other stories as well. YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED!**

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**Prologue:**

It was a raining Thursday afternoon at the flat that was being shared by six men. Echizen Ryoma, now age twenty, was sipping a cup of coffee in the kitchen when he heard the door close and footsteps echoing. The only ones who had keys were his lovers. Yes, Ryoma was not only gay but was in a relationship with five other men: Atobe Keigo of Atobe Corp., Kunimitsu Tezuka professional lawyer, Fuji Syuusuke professional photographer, Sanada Genichiro English professor of Tokyo University, and Yukimura Seiichi a banker.

It shocked everyone when Ryoma came out and admitted to close friends that he was gay but everyone else took it calmly. The next shock was when Tezuka and Fuji expressed their desire for the golden eyed boy and it got weirder when Atobe had joined in their mix when the rich snob had heard that his boy wonder had agreed to be with _both_ Tezuka and Fuji. A year after, Yukimura and Sanada were added to their group relationship and they had been through a whole lot for more than five years.

When they all reached the kitchen, Ryoma instantly knew something was off. He placed down his cup of coffee and the book his was reading.

"Is something wrong?" he asked them and the tension seemed to have grown thicker the next second.

It was Tezuka who broke the silence by clearing his throat.

"Ryoma, can we all talk in the living room? There is something we need to discuss as a group." He said seriously and Ryoma knew better than to joke.

He simply nodded and stood up, walking pass everyone and went to their spacious living room. Though it was a flat, it was bigger than most. It did house six men with different professions and yet it had everything they needed. Atobe had spent most of it really but the rest had worked and began to pay for the flat and other things that had been added since they moved in.

Ryoma sat down on his armchair and watched as the others take seats on the couch and the two other armchairs.

"So, what had gotten you all so serious? The weather is dreadful already, you're not making the afternoon any more pleasing." Ryoma said as he crossed his arms and his legs.

The others looked at each other before taking a deep breath which made Ryoma raise a brow.

"Ryoma, for the past year, you've turned down three offers to play international tennis matches. You told us that you didn't want to because it would take you away from here and us. We understand that but lately, things and demands have been brought up and the press hasn't helped out at all." Sanada began and turned to the others for help.

"What Gen is trying to say is that a few days ago, we have been giving opportunities and it's the type of opportunities that—" Fuji was cut off by Ryoma.

"You mean that Gen is being offered to be Department Head at his University, Sei was offered the Managerial spot in his bank, Tezuka probably got a big case that demands his time, you Fuji are offered some project that takes you away, and of course, Atobe is being pressured by his father to take over their company." Ryoma said with a cold tone.

The others were shocked.

"I'm not as stupid as you think I am. I've been hearing your secret talks when you think I'm sleeping or busy with something else. And the press hasn't been that subtle either. They all have been asking you what we are to each other and as far as I know, you have all denied any forms of romantic relationship between all of us. I haven't spoken to the press since you all wanted to keep what we have a secret. Though I was against it, I abided by your wishes because I cared and I deeply love you all and would put you ahead of myself everything." He continued while the others looked guilty.

"I knew for the past week that this was coming but I didn't think that it would really come to past." He stood up and went straight to his bedroom.

The others head a few noises and when Ryoma came out, he was pulling his travelling trolley with him and his tennis bag. He deposited it by the door and went back to the living room.

"If I knew you were all cowards I would have left the moment I felt that you were all going to go after your wishes and leave me. But I understand. As I said, I would put you all ahead of me no matter what and I meant it. If it makes everything easier, I'll leave. You can all go and do what you want and be happy with it. Though I won't, I will have to get over it one way or another and just accept the fact that people move on and leave other people behind."

"Ryo-chan it's not like that!" Yukimura tried to explain as he stood up and hold Ryoma.

Ryoma slowly pulled away and stepped a few inches away from the blue-haired banker and a sad smile was on his face. It instantly broke the others.

"Is it really not like that? I know… I have always known that at some point, people will leave me. I just thought that with you five, I wouldn't have to fear that. But I guess I was wrong. But its fine. I'll be fine. I've called Kevin last night and entered the Wimbledon Open and he and I will be playing doubles this time. Who knows, it might take my mind off you five." He said as went to the jacket closet to take out his jacket and get ready to leave. His car keys were in the pocket, the last place he had placed it.

"Ryoma… Please don't leave like this." Fuji had ran to him and begged.

Like what he did to Yukimura, he slowly pulled away.

"No, it's better this way. I don't want to hear the words 'Let's all move on and see how far we go on in life' or something along those lines. I can't and I probably won't bear it if any of you say it. So, I'll leave and I have convinced myself that this is for everyone's best interest." He said and turned to leave.

Ryoma went to take his bags and open the door to leave. He stopped and turned to look at the one last time, not knowing that tears were already running down his face yet he was still smiling.

"I wish you five the best luck this world can offer you. I love each and every one of you." He said and left.

Lightning struck and thunder rolled yet none of the five were able to move. Fuji cried as he fell on the floor by the door, Yukimura was holding himself as he tried to imagine Ryoma being in his arms still, crying on his own. Sanada had gone to the French windows and watched as Ryoma entered his car, start the car and drove off. He was crying as well. Atobe was frozen the whole while, not able to say anything to explain what they wanted to say or even to try and stop their youngest lover from leaving. Tezuka just sat there, staring at the seat that Ryoma had sat before he had walked out the door and left with tear filled eyes and a broken heart.

No, Tezuka's heart had broken to pieces when they began to plan when to tell Ryoma about the demands they were pressured to take. Atobe had stood up and went to Ryoma's room, got on the man's bed and held the pillow close to him, crying the whole time as the fact that they had pushed Ryoma away to leave sunk into his mind. They had made their youngest, most caring, and beloved lover leave because they were all so selfish to not admit the truth of who they really were and the fear of backlash.

Three years had passed… since the night Echizen Ryoma had left. Each other the five had done what they had set out to do, carve a name for themselves. Yet all of them followed their golden eyed lover's success. Ryoma had climbed to the top of the tennis ladder and had even been more sought after than his father, Samurai Nanjirou.

"_Tell us, Ryoma… To whom do you dedicate your success to? You've defeated your own brother at the American Open and have carved a deeper name that your own father."_ Asked an American reporter as Ryoma walked out the lobby with his brother and best friend, Kevin Smith.

"_I dedicate everything I have achieved now to five special people who I'm not sure are watching. I hope you're proud of me."_ Ryoma said as he smiled for the camera and left the stadium.

There were a few more questions that the reporters wanted to ask but the champion had tight security.

Ryoma had met up with Oishi and Eiji in Hawaii when he was doing his Tennis World Tour. They even had a doubles match with them as Ryoma paired up with his brother. The news had raked in hundreds of reporters from all over the world for the friendly match. Then after the first year, nothing came about Echizen Ryoma. Kevin and Ryoga had told reporters that they didn't know where Ryoma was either and that he just disappeared after the friendly match with his old school seniors in Hawaii.

But in truth, Ryoma wasn't missing. He was in Russia, under heavy security in a medical facility that specialized in rare diseases and sever life injuries. Kevin Ryoga, Oishi and Eiji had flown to Russia to check Ryoma and his condition.

"_I am sorry… There is nothing we can do for him. There is no known cure for his condition. However, we can only suggest that he does not do anything that will tire him out like tennis. His life can be extended to a decade or so. But if he keeps doing tennis, then he'll be depleting his life energy faster and will have about three to five years left."_

The doctors, all seven had told them that. Ryoga had called his dad and his mom and they flew directly to Russia, telling reporters that they too did not know where their son was. It was better that way. Only a few people knew the truth and those people were in Russia already.

Oishi and Eiji were told by Kevin what had happened when Ryoma returned to America and both went into a fit of rage. Both wanted to fly back to Japan to kill the five that they had expected to care and love the man. Ryoga had stopped them with an extensive explanation that was seconded by Ryoma when he had woken up from his sleep.

"Hey guys… Why the looks? I know getting fried by lighting wasn't a nice way to start the—"

"Ryoma! Please! Don't…. don't try to pass this off as a joke. Not this one." Kevin begged as he rushed to his best friend's side and cried.

"Kevin…" Ryoma was saddened that there was no other way.

"The doctors promised to keep looking and see if there is another way… We won't give up, Chibisuke." Ryoga said as he ran his hand through his brother's hair, trying to hold back his tears and cry.

Ryoma smiled weakly as his older brother and closed his eyes to rest.

How do they deal with the fact that the lightning accident had fried Echizen Ryoma's cells and cooking nearly all of his organs to crisp? No one had been known to survive multiple organ transplants. And even Ryoma wasn't going to pretend that he was going to be the first one to break rules once again.

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**A/N: So, how was that for a starter? Did I do good? Is it worth continuing? I'm back on my P.o.T bandwagon once again. Read and Review my good people. ^_^**


	2. Chapter 1

**DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN THE PRINCE OF TENNIS FRANCHISE NOR THE SONGS THAT WILL BE INCORPORATED THROUGHOUT THE WHOLE STORY. THANK YOU**

**AGAIN, I warn you all, THIS story will NOT have a happy ending. I have been knows to kill Ryoma in other stories as well. YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED!**

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**Chapter 1- "One change always leaves the way prepared for the introduction of another." -Niccoló Machiavelli**

Two years since the incident happened, Ryoma was now returning to Japan to pay his respects to his former freshman tennis couch, Ryuzaki Sumire. From what he was told by Kevin who was told by Ryoga who was told by their father who had ran into Ryuzaki Sakuno, the old lady had passed away from old age happily. Though to most, none had ever thought that their old couch would pass away so early. For them, she was still strong and fit to see the children of her old students.

Ryoma, who was now twenty-three, had slimed down, wore violet contact lenses to hide his gold eyes and dyed his hair blonde. He had quit the tennis business and was now a song writer slash singer under the pseudo name _Ciel Michaelis_. He had three albums out in the market and all had hit diamond. His five concerts were sold out and was the highest singer/writer in the music scene.

It was a rainy Thursday afternoon when Ryoma's plane had landed in Japan soil. No one else aside from his family and close friends knew he was coming. Eiji had yawned next to Oishi who looked like he wanted to sleep just a little bit more.

"We're here…" was all the twenty-six year old said and smiled.

Eiji had whined when he saw it was raining. He nearly sneered and cursed.

"Why can't the weather be warm like—" Eiji began to complain.

"I did tell you to dress for cold but like always, you didn't listen." Oishi said as he shook his head and turned to Ryoma who was snickering on the other said.

"Well you could have prepared for cold weather and I would have worn it." Eiji tried to defended himself which made Ryoma laugh harder which made him cough hard and hold his chest.

Instantly, Oishi and Eiji stood up and went to help Ryoma but he placed his hand up to stop them.

"I'm fine… I just laughed too much." He told them, smiling a little.

Oishi and Eiji shook their heads.

"You shouldn't laugh too much, Ciel. You know that it won't be good for you." Eiji tried to tell him but Oishi hit the red head on his head.

"He wouldn't laugh so much if you don't give him a reason too, Eiji." Oishi said as he sighed in frustration.

Ryoma snickered once again when Eiji complained at Oishi being to mean and hitting him all the time. Ryoga and Kevin were still in America, trying to finish up their matches and booking an indefinite leave with their managers. Eiji was rubbing the back of his head when he saw Ryoma's music notebook open and had words scribbled in neat handwriting:

_When the rain is blowing in your face_

_And the whole world is on your case_

_I could offer you a warm embrace_

_To make you feel my love_

"Is that a new song, Ciel?" he asked and got a nod.

The whole family and friends who are in-the-know call him by his pseudo name now. It took them a while to get used to it but two years was enough to get them into the program and the name.

Oishi grabbed one of Ryoma's hand carried bags from the top compartments and got a smile from the man. Eiji led them out the plane and to the lobby of the airport where they then proceeded to the exits to grab a taxi to take them first to Ryoma's home and drop him there where his parents were waiting for them.

"I wonder if everyone came back… The last thing I heard of Inui and Kaidoh was that they were in Australia for training." Eiji asked out loud.

It was no secret that Inui and Kaidoh got together a year after Ryoma had left Japan. Inui was his personal trainer as well as he doubles partner whenever they entered competitions.

"_I just hope we don't see _them_ so soon."_ Oishi thought to himself. He didn't know what he'd do if he'd see Tezuka and the other four so soon. He was still mad at what they had done and there was nothing he wouldn't do for his little brother of sorts.

As Oishi, Eiji, and Ryoma had left the airport, Fuji and Atobe had arrived together since they had met up at Italy while Fuji had a photo shoot for the fall collection of one of Atobe's fashion company. Tezuka and Yukimura were there to greet them in the lobby, totally missing Ryoma's arrival by five minutes. Genichiro had class that day so he wasn't able to greet the other two.

"Have you heard anything of _him_?" Fuji asked Atobe as they made their way to where Tezuka and Yukimura were waiting.

When Fuji turned to Atobe, the man looked like he wanted to shout and curse but was holding back.

"Let's wait until we're all together and in private." Was the answer Fuji got and just nodded.

His eyes didn't sparkle like they used too. And when Fuji saw Tezuka and Yukimura, he also saw that even their eyes were cold and dead. It had never been the same since Ryoma had left. They tried to call him but it was always Ryoga or Kevin that answered and they kept saying that Ryoma was mending and didn't need to be bothered. Fuji wanted to hug Yukimura but the other stopped him. The last hug Yukimura got was when he had Ryoma in his arms and since then, not even his family could hug him. The four understood and just didn't say anything.

Atobe's limousine took them to their flat and the whole trip was quiet. No one even dared to say anything. When they had arrived, the whole place had not changed. The day after Ryoma had left their lives, no one was to enter Ryoma's room. Nothing was ever moved, not even the furniture. The flat had been the same for the last three years. Half an hour later, Sanada had arrived and they all had gathered at the living room.

"Will you answer me now, Kei?" Fuji asked. The rest knew already what the sadist had wanted to know without having to say it out loud. Keigo had walked to the window and sighed.

"No, nothing at all. Two years and no news after the friendly match he had with the golden pair in Hawaii." He told them.

"I've tried to place private investigators but all of them found nothing. It was like he just disappeared." He added with a tone that made them all know that he wasn't pleased.

No amount of money produced fruit from the search. Even Fuji had looked for Ryoma on his own way. He had taken different offers from different parts of the world to see if he might run into their beloved by luck. But within two years and more that eighty cities around the world, Fuji had not seen even a shadow of Ryoma.

"Do you think that Oishi and Eiji would know anything?" Fuji asked as he turned to Tezuka who shook his head.

"I tried them, leaving messages but never got return calls."

Sanada pinched the bridge of his nose in frustration.

"Well, we can't just give up. The moment he left those doors, we all crumbled. Yes, we got to where we are now but in exchange for what?" Sanada said with his cold tone.

"We all remember the event Gen. No need to bring it up." Yukimura retaliated coldly.

"Well does everyone remember that it was all our fau—" Sanada was about to say something again but Atobe cut him off angrily.

"YES GENICHIRO! IT WAS OUR ENTIRE FAULT! WE PUSHED HIM TO LEAVE US BECAUSE WE WERE ALL SELFISH AND WANTED TO MOVE TO ACHIEVE OUR GOALS WITHOUT EVEN ASKING HIM WHAT HE WANTED TO DO! DO YOU REALLY WANT TO BRING IT UP AGAIN? BECAUSE NO MATTER HOW MANY TIMES WE RING IT UP, IT WON'T CHANGE THE FACT THAT HE IS NOW GONE!" Atobe screamed as he turned to him.

He was the most frustrated of all since it was only him that had not been able to say anything from the time they asked Ryoma listen to them until the part where he had left. No, Atobe had frozen in fear back then and since then had been bitter even if he had become CEO of his company.

"Enough! Yelling at each other won't help us at all." Tezuka spoke up when Atobe was about to scream something else. The man snapped and retreated to his own bedroom to get away from the other four.

Fuji was silent crying once again and Tezuka placed an arm around him.

"Come on Fuji, I'll take you to your room to rest. The flight must have been tiring. You need rest if you want to attend the funeral tomorrow." Tezuka said as the other simply nodded and allowed Tezuka to help him to his room and into bed to sleep.

Fuji was exhausted both physically and emotionally. The afternoon Ryoma had left, Fuji had never really been the same. None of them did and yet they tried to pretend that they were alright. But the reality that they weren't themselves had slowly sunk in and they had admitted to themselves that the years had been nothing but empty for them.

The rain was still falling when Ryoma had returned to his house. His father and mother were there to greet him with Nanako. Karupin had to stay in America since she had kittens to care of.

"_Okari nasai,_ Ryoma." His mother greeted with a sad smile on her face.

Ryoma gave her a soft smile and at his cousin and dad.

"_Hai… Tadaima."_ He replied.

Oishi and Eiji bid them goodbye and they had the taxi drive off after Ryoma's bags were brought down. He was led to his room to rest up before dinner. They knew it was a bit hard for him to be back in Japan again after three years. He didn't need to lie since it was obvious that if his coach didn't die, he wouldn't have returned at all.

He went to his table and took out his music notebook, trying to write more lines to the song he was trying to make this time. He looked out the window the whole while thinking, hope for the words to come to him without him having to try. Nothing came to him so he decided to just take a nap and wait to be told that dinner was ready. He was tried and just wanted the whole funeral to be over and done with so that he could return to America and be far away from the pain that had turned him to who he was now.

The hours flew by and Nanako had knocked on his door, waking him up in the process.

"I'll be down in a few minutes. I'll just watch my face and change." He told her and she left.

He went to his bathroom to watch his face and then went to change clothes to go down to dinner. He changed into navy blue long sleeves and loose white pants. He grabbed his notebook with him and went down to have dinner. The whole time was spent asking him how he was feeling and what he was up to.

"Just trying to write new songs while taking a break from concerts." He said calmly which worried them.

They knew that those concerts were tiring him out but he told them that he was fine. Despite his words, they still worried since they knew his bad habit of not telling them when he was in pain.

After dinner, he just sat outside and looked up, seeing the rain had stopped and the stars were coming out now. The words came out like they usually would.

_When the evening shadows and the stars appear_

_And there is no one there to dry your tears_

_I could hold you for a million years_

_To make you feel my love_

_..._

_I know you haven't made your mind up yet_

_But I would never do you wrong_

_I've known it from the moment that we met_

_No doubt in my mind where you belong_

_..._

_I'd go hungry_

_I'd go black and blue_

_I'd go crawling down the avenue_

_You know there's nothing that I wouldn't do_

_To make you feel my love_

He was brought out from his writing when his father sat next to him. Nanjirou had not said anything but just sat there next to his youngest, looking at the night sky and the stars. Both weren't really good with words when it came to people but they always knew that when they were together, they didn't have to say anything.

With a pat on the shoulder, Nanjirou stood up and left his son. Ryoma sat there for a few more minutes before going back to his room and sleeping. He knew that tomorrow would be stressful for him and it wouldn't help that he would be seeing two of the five that gave him the reason to leave. He had two years of practice. But he knew, Ryoma knew, that when he same them again, he'd crumble instantly.

He sighed when he got to his room. Without fanfare, he lay back on his bed and closed his eyes.

Morning came a bit too soon for him as the sunlight filled his room and a knock on his door woke up him. Oishi pushed the door opened and peaked in.

"Ohayo, Ciel." He greeted.

"Ohayo gozaimas_, _Oishi-sempai." He greeted back as he rubbed his eyes.

It amused Oishi still that every morning, Ryoma would look like his freshman self when he got up and rubbed his eyes.

"We've brought your suit with us and Nanako is pressing it right now. Breakfast is ready and we'll head to Ryuzaki-sensei's house in an hour." Oishi informed the man of the day's plan.

When Ryoma nodded and yawned again, Oishi left him to get ready and shower. When Ryoma nearly finished his hot shower, he heard Nanako say that his suit was ready. He dried himself and heard the door close. He went back to his room and saw his black suit lying on his bed. He stared at it for a few moments before he went to dress himself and head down. He hung his jacket by the stairs when he got down and saw that Eiji was already there as well.

"Ohayo, Ciel! Come and have breakfast. I'm having my second breakfast here." He said without shame.

Oishi sighed and shook his head, Nanjirou, Rinko, and Nanako laughed while Ryoma chuckled. They had made his favorite, Japanese breakfast: a bowl of miso soup, fried fish, and a bowl of white rice. He thanked them and began to eat his meal as he knew he'd need the energy to face the day. He had eaten in a normal pace and went back to his room to brush and grab his music notebook. He never went anywhere without it.

When everyone was done, Nanjirou had taken out the family car while Nanako locked the house. They all piled into the car and Nanjirou drove to the Ryuzaki address Sakuno had given Nanjirou. And as predicted, there were a lot of visitors. And the first one to spot Eiji and Oishi was Kawamura who was with Momoshiro and his wife, Anne Tachibana. They had two kids now, a boy named Tadashi and his twin sister Akira.

"Oishi! Kikumaru! Over here." The sushi chef called out and the tow mentioned along with Ryoma turned to look at them.

"Take care of Ciel, Oishi." Rinko instructed and the three made their way across the yard to the area where their old teammate was.

Oishi and Eiji gave Kawamura and Momoshiro hugs while nodding at Anne.

"And who is that?" Momo asked, turning to Ryoma.

"This is Ciel Michaelis, a relative of the Echizens." Oishi explained.

Instantly, Momo's face darkened with sadness.

"Have… Have you heard anything?" he asked, hoping to hear something but knew that he'd get nothing.

"I'm sorry Momo. But after the friendly match Ryoma had with us, he just disappeared. No one knew where he went or where he is now. We've tried looking for him. His family tried looking for him but nothing came." Oishi lied so perfectly.

It stunned Eiji and Ryoma a year ago when they got a call from a few members of their old circuit, wanting to know if they knew anything since they were the last ones to have seen Ryoma. Oishi had lied to them straight out, completely with the tone and now facial expression. He had thrown out an moral he had when it came to keeping Ryoma safe.

Momo smiled sadly.

"I knew you would have said something like that… But I just had to ask you know? He was my best friend. Until he left… I still don't know why though." He said as Anne tried to comfort him.

Ryoma eyed Oishi and discreetly nodded. It meant that Oishi could tell Momo why Ryoma left but not where Ryoma was now. Oishi said and rubbed the back of his neck.

"Momo… You have to understand… When Ryoma left… It was because of those five…. From what I remember him telling me and Eiji, the five had told him about their wish to achieve their own separate goals and deal with demands their own way. It was saying that they wanted to stop whatever they had to walk separate ways. Ryoma, back then, had held back to stay with them because we all know how much he loved them. We all knew that despite his stubbornness, he'd place their wants first than his own. So he left." Oishi explained

Kawamura, Momo, and Anne were in shocked. But before any of them could say anything, someone cleared their throat from behind.

"We knew it had something to do with those five." Said a familiar voice.

The group turned to see Inui and Kaidoh standing behind them.

"Inui…" Oishi called out and nodded at him and Kaidoh.

"How did you know Inui?" asked Kawamura.

"We ran into Atobe in Australia last year. He explained a few things but not the part that you mentioned Oishi." The man answered as he fixed his glasses.

Eiji crossed his arms angrily.

"Of course he'd never say the whole truth as to why o-chibi left. It was their damn fault to begin with. And now look what happened! His gone and no one knows where he is." He stated with an angry tone that made Anne, Momo, Kawamura, Kaidoh, and Inui stare in disbelief.

Eiji was always happy and care-free. He would never curse no matter what but here he was now, angry and cursed.

"As much as I hate to admit it, Eiji is right. If what Oishi said was part of the reason, I would not be surprised if Echizen chose to leave and disappear. He had given them everything he had and they took him for granted." Kawamura said and sighed in frustration.

It was a bit of a nasty shock but the reason began to sink in and the group finally understood why Ryoma chose to leave and vanish into thin air.

Tomoka and Sakuno along with Kachiro, Katsuo and Horio came out the house and greeted them. It was Tomoka who recognized Ryoma immediately.

"Sakuno! It's Ciel Michaelis!" Tomoka hissed to her friend as she pointed to Ryoma who just blinked.

Of course Sakuno knew who Ciel Michaelis was. She and Tomoka talked about him and listened to his music. The three others were staring as well. Katsuo worked for Kawamura at the sushi restaurant, Kachiro worked at the tennis club house his dad worked for when he was younger, now they own it and the business was good. Horio owned a tennis shop now and had been the one who made Seigaku's jerseys now.

Inui and Kaidoh stared as well.

"Wait… Oishi-sempai… When you said Ciel Michaelis, did you mean _thee_ Ciel Michaelis?" Momo asked, trying to recover from his shock.

Ryoma chuckled and nodded as he bowed.

"Hello, my name is Ciel Michaelis. It's a pleasure to meet everyone."

Tomoka did what she did when she met Ryoma in person many years ago: she fainted. Horio and Kachiro caught her as the others laughed.

As Ryoma watched the people pay their respects, he opened his notebook and began writing.

_The storms are raging on the rolling sea_

_And on the highway of regret the winds of change_

_Are blowing wild and free_

_You ain't seen nothing like me yet_

_..._

_I could make you happy_

_Make your dreams come true_

_Nothing that I wouldn't do_

_Go to the ends of the Earth for you_

_To make you feel my love,_

_To make you feel my love_

Since no one knew who he really was, the rest of the guests thought that the singer/writer was with the Echizen family and came along as proxy to the one that disappeared. Ryoma had felt that his knew song was done and was glad when his dad went back to the car and got the guitar that Eiji had brought with him. It only took Ryoma half an hour to complete the song and out of respect, he sang his newly made song for the family as his offering.

Tears fell the whole while, especially from Sakuno and Tomoka. Even the guests were shedding tears when the song ended. And just as he was about to walk back to where Oishi and Eiji were standing, _they_ arrived. Together.

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**A/N: I'm back on my P.o.T bandwagon once again. Read and Review my good people. ^_^**


	3. Chapter 2

**DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN THE PRINCE OF TENNIS FRANCHISE NOR THE SONGS THAT WILL BE INCORPORATED THROUGHOUT THE WHOLE STORY. THANK YOU**

**AGAIN, I warn you all, THIS story will NOT have a happy ending. I have been known to kill Ryoma in other stories as well. YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED!**

* * *

**Chapter 2- Picking Up the Broken Pieces of this Thing Called Life**

Ryoma was stunned beyond belief. He did not know that they had gotten back together. But then again, it wasn't his place to comment since he was practically dead to the world. The rest of the old Seigaku tennis team turned to where Ryoma was looking and stared in shock. Tezuka and Fuji had arrived with Atobe, Sanada, and Yukimura. Eiji and Oishi quickly went to bring back Ryoma to them and asked if they could use the bathroom inside. Momo, Kawamura, Inui, and Kaidoh was left stunned once more when Oishi and Eiji went pass their old teammates without acknowledging them at all.

Tezuka and Fuji knew instantly that they _knew_ and both looked away as the two passed them by. It was painful to have others knew why their team would never be complete even for the sake of their coach. It was too much. The rest of the Hyotei, Yamabuki, Shitenhoji, Higa-chuu, Rikkaidai, Fudomine, and Josei Shonan old members had arrived and gathered at the back where the Seigaku were. Oishi and Eiji had returned with Ryoma who had calmed down by then yet was still in between the two for protection and comfort.

"Too bad Seigaku's team can't be all here…" Aoi Kentaro commented sadly. He wanted to see Ryoma so bad but knew it wasn't possible.

"Oishi… Weren't you the—" Saeki began to asked but Oishi cut him off immediately.

"Like I told the press two years ago, I don't know where Ryoma went after the friendly match he and his brother won against Eiji and me. But then again, I couldn't blame him." He said as he sneered the last part.

Ryoma had tightened his grip on Oishi's shirt.

"Do you know why he disappeared Oishi-san?" asked Kintaro who looked a bit hopeful.

"Of course I know. He told us before he disappeared. Ryoma left because he was non-verbally pushed to do so by the very people who we all thought would care for him. They wanted to achieve their goals in life which they couldn't do if Ryoma was around. They didn't even get to the point to tell him straight. They whispered to each other and of course, knowing Ryoma, he'd hear about it. But he had hoped that they wouldn't leave and find some other way to achieve their _dreams_ without having to separate." Oishi sneered, he didn't look at them less he murdered them where they stood.

"As everyone knew Ryoma, he placed their wishes before his own, no matter if he didn't want to leave, he did. The world be damned to the nine pits of hell, he didn't have them say out loud that they wanted to separate because it would have shattered him. But low and behold, they even came _together_. Not surprised really that they got back together. They did achieve what they set out to do: become big shots. Three years, it took them that long and when they did, they got back together. How fucking wonderful." Eiji said with a mocking smile.

The others gasped.

"You have no idea what we've been through this pass three years!" Atobe hissed.

"And does it look like we fucking care what you went through, Atobe?" Oishi asked back with earned him gasps and shocked looks from everyone except Eiji and Ryoma.

"O-Oishi… Please… If you know—" Fuji spoke but Eiji held his hand for Fuji to stop.

"Even if we knew _anything_, what makes you think we'd tell you? You have no _idea_ what Ryoma had gone through. He was hurting alone and not even Kevin and Ryoga could help. His tennis achievements were not for himself but for you. His last interview, if you even saw it, he said and I quote '_I dedicate everything I have achieved now to five special people who I'm not sure are watching. I hope you're proud of me._' Before he disappeared, he still sought out for your approval." Eiji mocked them before Ryoma pulled his arm along with Oishi.

"I don't think this is the right place for you all to be discussing this issue. You all came here to pay your respects to your departed coach. Do so and speak of this if you have to somewhere else." He told them all and narrowed his eyes at everyone.

The others already know Ciel Michaelis; they would have to live under a rock to not know who he was. But as to why he was there with Eiji and Oishi, no one had an answer.

"You're right Ciel. We're sorry. Ryoma would probably have glared holes at us if we went on." Oishi said and chuckled.

"Why are you even here?" asked Atobe so rudely.

"I happened to be a cousin of Ryoma. You know? The man you all once had a relationship with and the one who gave everything to you but you took for granted? I came by proxy with his family. I don't know he is so don't ask me as well. Not even Nanjirou-ji-san knows. Rinko-san as well as Nanako and Ryoga- san have no clue either. The only thing Ryoma told us the day before he disappeared was 'I hope that they'll be happy'. And they the world knew that Echizen Ryoma disappeared." Ciel said coldly.

The other members where now glaring at the five who they all remembered were Ryoma's boyfriends.

"Atobe, either curb that tongue of yours or shut the fuck up. You're tone and words won't bring back Ryoma so keep it to yourself less you want another problem on your hands." Eiji said and turned to grab Oishi and Ciel, dragging them to where Nanjirou and Rinko were. Nanako had helped out with serving the guests with Sakuno, Tomoka, Kachiro, Katsuo, and Horio.

The others groaned in frustration.

"Atobe, the last time I remembered, no one us are children anymore. So please, if you have nothing good to say, just remain quiet. Eiji was right and it will only make things worse if you keep that sharp tongue of yours loose." Yushi stated as he fixed his glasses. The rest nodded in agreement.

"Seriously? No one even thinks about the pain we've gone through?" he asked incredulously.

"Atobe-san… the pain you're stating would have not been there if you hadn't done what you did." Kirihara commented as Marui wrapped his arm around his boyfriend.

"We know that Kirihara-kun.. We made mistakes… We tried to fix it…" Yukimura finally spoke.

"When? When Ryoma disappeared?" asked Kamio.

"No… the moment he walked out the door of our flat three years ago." Fuji answered.

"Really? Because if you all did what you say you did, Ryoma would still be here." Momo said angrily but keeping himself in check.

"Look, Ciel is right. This isn't the place for this kind of conversation. And it's really none of our business to intrude into their relationship problems. Let's all just keep quiet and get through the whole day without picking fights with each other about who's right and who's wrong." Shiraishi suggested and everyone else simply nodded in agreement.

True to their agreement, the topic of Ryoma's disappearance had been dropped and no one talked about it. But only a few people also tried to talk to the five who clearly had earned the wrath of their old tennis circuit. Ryoma meant a lot to everyone and now he was gone. They were angry but the five were a bit relieved that they weren't murdered by the end of the day.

By three o'clock, Ryoga and Kevin had arrived and gave their respects to the deceased.

As the sun began to set, the guests all returned to their homes and to wherever the rest were staying. The five waited outside the gates for Ryoga and Kevin. And when the two came out, they were pulled to the side instantly.

"Hey watch it!" Kevin complained.

"We wanted to ask you—" Sanada began.

"No. If you wanted to ask about Ryoma, forget it." Kevin cut him off.

"Kevin's right. We're not telling you where chibisuke is even if we knew. You've caused too much damaged as it is. Just leave him alone and go back to whatever it was you left him for and leave it at all." Ryoga said as he was about to leave.

"Can't anyone understand? We're miserable without him! Yes, we thought that the success we all wanted would make us proud but it didn't. It didn't matter the moment Ryoma left. The moment he walked out the door and drove away. We tried! You know we tried! But he just wouldn't talk to us." Fuji said as he showed great displeasure.

"You tried to call on the phone… Atobe has a fucking jet plane. Couldn't any of you flown to America to face him and explain?" Kevin asked them with accusing eyes.

None of the five spoke.

"See? It meant you didn't try hard enough. If there's a will , there's definitely a damn fucking way." Kevin said as turned to grab Ryoga and leave. Ryoma, Oishi, and Eiji came out just in time to see Tezuka go down to his knees.

"Please… I'm begging you… We'll do anything… Absolutely anything…" he begged as tears rolled down his face.

Ryoma's heart got tighter and he couldn't look away. If it weren't for Oishi and Eiji, he would have jumped into Tezuka's arm and hold the man close.

"Get up, Kunimitsu Tezuka. Even I don't think that you begging on your knees will bring Ryoma back…" Ryoma said as he went to where his brother and best friend were standing in frustration.

"We're not sure where Ryoma _exactly_ is right now… But we'll send him a message. That you want to speak with him. We make no promises that he'll reply but we will try." Was all Ryoma said and walked off, his family and close friends following him. Sanada helped Tezuka back on his feet.

It was the best they got so they would make the most out of their situation. All they could do was wait and see if their Ryoma could find it in his heart to forgive them.

It took five days before they heard anything from the Echizen family.

"_Meet us at the public courts at two o'clock tomorrow."_ Spoke Ryoga who had called their flat.

Fuji felt a bit hopeful. He didn't want to think about anything but the fact that Ryoma's older brother would give them any reply, be it good or bad, as long it was from Ryoma. He had told the others when they got home later about the call from Ryoga.

The next day was a weekend so none of them had work.

* * *

**A/N: I'm back on my P.o.T bandwagon once again. Read and Review my good people. ^_^**


	4. Chapter 3

**DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN THE PRINCE OF TENNIS FRANCHISE NOR THE SONGS THAT WILL BE INCORPORATED THROUGHOUT THE WHOLE STORY. THANK YOU**

**AGAIN, I warn you all, THIS story will NOT have a happy ending. I have been known to kill Ryoma in other stories as well. YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED!**

* * *

**Chapter 3- How Do You Unlove Someone?**

The night before Ciel was supposed to meet up with his ex lovers, Kevin, Ryoga, Oishi, and Eiji were trying to convince him that going as his real self and not as Ciel was a bad idea. They had argued about it for hours on end. Nanjiroh, Rinko, and Nanako had kept themselves away since they knew that Ciel would probably not even listen.

"I know you think it won't matter but it will, Ciel." Kevin began once more and Ciel all but sighed.

"Kevin is right, Chibisuke. It would NOT be a good idea. Who knows if they really have changed?!" Ryoga added as Eiji and Kevin nodded with agreement.

Oishi remained quiet for a moment, thinking of a way to make Ciel see that they only wanted what was best for him.

"Ciel… I know what your thinking. That day… when Tezuka got on his knees. If it had not been for Eiji and I, you would have flown to his side and tell him to stand up. I know you. You still love them despite what they had done to you. You still love them despite not having seen them in person." Oishi said as he looked sternly at Ciel who fidgeted where he was sitting.

"I know you've been looking them up on the internet when you think no one is looking. I know, Ciel. What we want is for you to see that it would not be a good idea as of the moment to tell them who you really are. Why not observe them first? See if they indeed had changed. We don't want to see you get hurt by them again like the last time. Once was enough for us. Once should be enough for you." Oishi continued and Ciel bit his lower lip by this time.

Oishi was right. He still loved them despite everything that had happened and that if only he could turn back time, he would have and changed so many things. Starting with how they had grown apart because of all the pressure. Ciel would have gone and found ways for them to achieve their dreams without having to leave each other and move away. But he couldn't change time. And Ciel knew that the more Oishi would talk, the more the other would seem right.

"Alright, fine. I won't go as myself. Oishi-sempai… You and Eiji-sempai should come with me. Because to them, you two would know them best and to them, only you two know me well. Kevin and Ryoga-nii won't we much convincing because… let's face it. They'd blow up within the next five minutes." Ciel said with a small smile on his face.

Eiji laughed while Ryoga and Kevin loudly protested. Oishi smiled softly and nodded.

"We would be there for you… Ryoma. You know that. No matter what." Oishi assured the younger one and Eiji nodded and gave a two thumbs up.

Ryoga and Kevin chuckled and sat back down.

"The next thing we have to talk about is what you have to tell them." Kevin spoke up and they all agreed with a nod.

"We can start by saying that after a day, I finally answered Oishi-sempai's call and said I'm fine. Oishi-sempai can tell them that he mentioned them to me and that they wanted to see me so badly and that they seem to have regretted what they did and ask what I want to do now that they finally broke their silence." Ciel said as he leaned back on his seat in the dining room.

Oishi had stood up to make them tea and Ryoga had gone and made sandwiches.

"That seems like a good start. After that?" Eiji asked as he placed his head on his hands and looked at Oishi.

"I can then ask them the REAL reason why they didn't go and follow Ryoma to America to get him back and we'll decide from there." Oishi answered.

Ciel and Kevin were already smirking.

"Yeah, we can go from there since Oishi can already lie perfectly with a straight face to everyone else." Kevin teased which made Oishi blush beet red.

"W-well… It's because it's necessary. I wouldn't have lied if it wasn't needed." He defended himself which made the other four laugh right out loud. He blushed harder.

After calming down, the tea and sandwiches were ready. The older two sat back down again and they enjoyed the silence of the evening for a little bit before Eiji spoke.

"Ochibi… Oishi was right when he said that you still love them, wasn't he?"

They all turned to Ciel who just stared at his cup for a long while and smiled with sadness.

"I think I still do… I know that when I left and they didn't follow, I should have moved on… But how do you unlove someone? How do you rewrite the past to have a better future?" he asked them with a low voice that would have broken a hundred hearts if there were a hundred people who would have heard him.

No one could give an answer. How does one UNLOVE the one or ones they love? Is it even possible?

"I can't answer that for you, Ryoma. None of us can. Only you will know how to do it if you so wish for it to happen." Oishi said with a sad smile as well.

Oishi prided himself with a lot of things. But he knew it himself that he didn't know everything there is to know about the world and how things happen and what people should do in any given situation. Ciel had gone through so many things and he deserved nothing but happiness. But he would never hurt the young man in front of him. Oishi knew that despite everything, Ciel still considered and see those five as his happiness. But with what he was going through now, could they taste 'happy ever after'? He sighed as he took a sip of his tea. Only time could tell.

IIDY* IIDY* IIDY* IIDY* IIDY* IIDY* IIDY

The morning came sooner than any of them hoped. Breakfast was done in silence, waiting for the time to go by until that had to meet the five who they had told to head over to the public courts. Rinko had not said anything as she and Nanako walked Ciel, Oishi, and Eiji to the door. Rinko gave her son a tight hug and kissed his forehead.

"Everything will be alright…"[/b] she whispered to him and Ciel nodded. She was right and Ciel trusted his mother's words and took them to heart.

Ryoga and Kevin played tennis while Nanjiroh watched, not wanting to see them leave the house and head to where the people who had made Ciel's life a living hell were waiting.

IIDY* IIDY* IIDY* IIDY* IIDY* IIDY* IIDY

Atobe, Yukimura, Sanada, Tezuka, and Fuji had not been able to sleep much. They had been too busy wondering how the meeting with the Echizens, Ciel, Oishi, and Eiji would end up. They wondered if they would even tell them anything at all.

Tezuka was the first to leave his bedroom and cook breakfast for the rest. He had prepared a Japanese style breakfast: miso soup, rice, and fish. The very breakfast their Ryoma' enjoying having and making. Atobe and Sanada entered the kitchen and looked worried but hid behind their masks as Tezuka was doing.

"Japanese breakfast?" Atobe asked and got a nod as an answer.

"He hated American breakfast to heart. And to think that before he came here, he stayed in America for a long time." Sanada commented. Yukimura and Fuji had entered the kitchen just as Sanada spoke and smiled a little.

"He did, didn't he." Fuji said as he gave Tezuka kiss on the cheek before giving Sanada and Atobe their kisses as well.

Yukimura sat next to Sanada and just smiled a little bit. The blunette had not slept much as the rest and it showed more on him that the rest.

"Do you think they would tell us anything?" Yukimura asked and the rest stiffened a bit.

"They would… Though they have changed… Oishi would never agree for a meeting only to ditch when the day came." Tezuka answered and Fuji nodded.

It had truly shocked then when they had met Oishi and Eiji again that day at the last funeral for their late coach. Not only had Oishi spoke to them so coldly, both of them cursed which they never had done so in the past no matter how angry they got. But just like the rest, they knew that they had changed all because of what had happened.

"Whatever they tell us today, we shall accept it and thank them. If they don't say much, then we'll just find other ways to look for Ryoma on our own." Atobe said as if it was ending the whole conversation which was alright with the rest when Sanada and Yukimura nodded.

Tezuka and Fuji, who was smiling, nodded as well.

Yes. Whatever they would hear from the Echizens, Ciel, and the Golden Pair, they would be thankful and leave it at that. None of them thought that they would actually be getting more.

IIDY* IIDY* IIDY* IIDY* IIDY* IIDY* IIDY

…

_I'm holdin' on your rope,_

_Got me ten feet off the ground._

_And I'm hearin' what you say,_

_But I just can't make a sound._

_..._

_You tell me that you need me,_

_Then you go and cut me down..._

_But wait..._

_..._

_You tell me that you're sorry,_

_Didn't think I'd turn around_

_And say..._

IIDY* IIDY* IIDY* IIDY* IIDY* IIDY* IIDY

Ciel had been writing as Oishi drove the car silently to the public courts where they had told the five to meet them. Though Ciel was a bit worried, he was not afraid since he knew that his Golden sempais would be right behind him the whole time.

Oishi found a vacant parking area and parked. They got out and made their way to the public courts where, to their surprise, was empty except for Atobe, Yukimura, Sanada, Tezuka, and Fuji. Either it was too early to be used by other tennis players or Atobe had bought the whole place just for them for a few hours. Ciel and the Golden Pair didn't need to be told which reason was correct.

They all sat down on the benches and Oishi and Eiji were sitting on the ledge with Ciel in between them.

"We thought it would be better if it were just the three of us. Ryoga-san and Kevin can be a bit… hot headed and would not have spoken to all of you in a civil manner." Oishi began and the five sat straighter.

"We said that we'd try and get a hold of Ryoma and tell me that you wanted to see him. He is fine by the way. However, he hadn't hinted where he is currently hiding himself. When Oishi-sempai told Ryoma about you and how Tezuka-san had gone down on his knees, Ryoma had been silent for a long while. He… He still cares for you though. But he said that he isn't ready to see you again just yet. He doesn't know if you've changed at all." Ciel said and turned to Eiji who nodded.

"Which brings us to ask you: why didn't you follow Ochibi when he left your flat back then?" the red head asked and silence had enveloped them all.

The three didn't pressure for answers and just waited since they knew that the five would answer them. However, what they heard was NOT what they expected.

"We didn't follow Ryoma that night because we couldn't face him at all." Yukimura answered with a defeated smile on his face which was breaking Ciel's heart silently.

"We didn't know how to face him after him saying that he knew and hoped that what he feared wouldn't happen. It had and we just couldn't bear to drag ourselves to even follow him because we didn't know how to even explain ourselves." Fuji spoke next.

"Kevin was right though… Atobe had a jet plane and we _could_ have gone and flown to America to face Ryoma again. But as we tried to regain ourselves and rebuild the face and find the courage to even speak to him, the gap between us and him just grew wider and wider. No matter what we did, we couldn't lessen the gap and it wasn't until the interview he had that we finally had to admit to ourselves that we had really lost him." Tezuka told Ciel and the Golden Pair who were stunned.

Ciel was the most stunned of them all. He had not thought that they had felt that way. He had not answered their calls or messages because he thought that they just wanted him back because they felt guilty or whatever. And that when they had not gone to see him, he thought that they were putting effort behind getting him back with them.

"We'll tell Ryoma… However, for the next few days, we'll be watching you. We'll tell Ryoma if you have really changed or not. He trusts our judgment and despite the fact that I would want to lie to him and tell him that you haven't changed at all, I won't. Even if I don't like it, you are his happiness and he deserves it. All of the happiness the world could offer." Oishi said as he stood up, followed by Eiji.

Ciel was in deep thought. He knew he shouldn't but he wanted to see.

"Can you show us where Ryoma used to live?" Ciel asked which made everyone turn to him.

And before anyone could say anything else, Atobe stood up and nodded.

"Of course. Nothing had changed much the night we had allowed him to walk out the front door and out of our lives." He said and walked towards the stairs.

It was all the command the rest needed to get up and follow the silver haired business man. Sanada had driven them to the public courts and was now driving them back to their flat with Oishi, Eiji, and Ciel driving close behind them. Ciel watched as they passed the row of trees and streets, heading to the place where he once called home. He still remembered the way as if he had not left at all.

When they arrived at the flat, Ciel knew Atobe had not lied. Nothing had indeed changed. However, he saw his armchair covered in plastic wrapping. He turned to them with a raised brow, sending the silent question '_Why is that chair covered in plastic?_'

"That's Ryoma's chair. We wrapped it in plastic so it wouldn't get damaged. No one is allowed to sit on it though so you'll have to sit on the sofa while I make tea." Fuji answered and smiled as he made his way to the kitchen with Yukimura right behind him and everyone else sat around and waited in silence.

Ciel took our his song notebook and began writing once more.

IIDY* IIDY* IIDY* IIDY* IIDY* IIDY* IIDY

_That it's too late to apologize._

_It's too late..._

_I said it's too late to apologize._

_It's too late, too late, oh, oh._

IIDY* IIDY* IIDY* IIDY* IIDY* IIDY* IIDY

The whole room felt like it was being covered in tension as the silence grew bigger and bigger. No one knew what to say now to break the silence. All they could hope for was that Fuji and Yukimura enter with tea.

Ten minutes later, the two had joined everyone in the living room and placed down trays of cups and saucers on the table. Ciel instantly noticed that Fuji and Yukimura had used the set that he had given them for their First Christmas together. The next thing he knew was that the tea they serves was his favorite, honey tea. It seemed that they still remembered after all. Ciel couldn't help but smile a bit.

"This tea is Ryoma' favorite, isn't it? Honey tea." Ciel commented as he held the cup below his nose and inhaled the sweet scent of the tea.

Everyone watched Ciel and Fuji nodded.

"Yes, Honey Tea was Ryo-chan's favorite drink aside from Ponta." He said with a smile.

Watching Ciel made him remember how Ryoma would take a moment to inhale the tea he was about to drink and smile. How he missed having afternoon talks with Ryoma over tea and snacks when he wasn't having photo shoots and Ryoma didn't have matches.

"Atobe-san mentioned that when Ryoma had left, you had not changed anything since then, did that mean that you all had not stayed in the bedroom where you all sleep together with Ryoma?" Ciel asked as he took a sip of his cup.

He they were still together, they had their own rooms and the master bedroom of the flat was where they all sleep. He was always in the middle of course while the other five would fight every night to see who would be sleeping next to him. It never failed to make Ryoma laugh back then.

However, the five were stunned.

"Did Ryoma tell you?" asked Sanada and Ciel shook his head.

"It's common sense that since you all were together that you all shared one bedroom. Don't couples share the same bedroom?" Ciel asked back as if to state an obvious.

The five then relaxed a bit while Oishi and Eiji remained silent.

"You are correct though. Since Ryoma had left, we haven't used the master bedroom. We all have separate bedrooms as well. Ryoma's room… we kept it lock since then." Atobe spoke and looked down on his cup.

He still remembered that night. He had gone to Ryoma's room and cried hard as he held a pillow that smelled so much like their little lover. When he had finally stopped crying, he had left the room and no one entered it since then.

"Can I see it? I promise not to touch anything." Ciel said which Oishi and Eiji wanted to protest so badly but didn't.

The five were hesitant and looked at each other for a long time before Tezuka stood up to retrieve the keys to Ryoma's bedroom. Ciel knew that if he kept pressing on, they would catch on faster than he wanted them too. But at the moment, he didn't care anymore. Tezuka came back and beckoned Ciel to follow him, the other four stood up but Oishi and Eiji stayed behind. This was something Ciel had to see on his own.

When Tezuka opened the door, Ciel entered first and had a hard time trying to keep his face straight. _His_ room was the same way he had left it that night he packed his bags and left. He wanted to cry and tell them that he was Ryoma and that he missed them so much. But he didn't.

IIDY* IIDY* IIDY* IIDY* IIDY* IIDY* IIDY

After an hour, Oishi, Eiji, and Ciel bid the five and went home, promising to tell Ryoma everything they had heard and seen that day. One the way back, Ciel had been quiet and stared out the window, tapping his pen on his song notebook.

I'd take another chance,

…

_Take a fall, take a shot for you, oh, oh._

_I need you like a heart needs a beat,_

_But it's nothin' new, yeah!_

_..._

_I loved you with a fire red,_

_Now it's turnin' blue_

_And you say..._

_..._

_Sorry, like an angel_

_Heaven let me think was you_

_But I'm afraid..._

…

He sighed as he closed his notebook once more when they arrived back at the Echizen household. No one asked outright how their meeting went and Rinko and Nanako just prepared an early lunch instead. Though it seemed like forever, Oishi, Eiji, and Ciel had only been gone for the whole morning. And they had the whole afternoon to tell Ryoga and Kevin the details of everything that had happened and planned for the next part of their mission.

All the while, Ciel was just sitting down, facing the garden and tapped his notebook with his pen. He wasn't listening to what the other for were planning and even left to head up to the temple to have some peace and quiet. Ciel sighed in relief as the calmness of the silence began to cover his entire body.

…

_That it's too late to apologize._

_It's too late..._

_I said it's too late to apologize._

_It's too late, too late, oh, oh._

_It's too late to apologize._

_It's too late, too late, oh, oh._

_It's too late to apologize._

_It's too late, too late, oh, oh._

_I'm holding on your rope_

_Got me ten feet off.. the ground…_

…

The days passed and Ciel was walking around town and unconsciously found himself outside Kawamura's sushi house. He smiled fondly at himself and decided to go in. Ciel had not expected for Momoshiro to be there as well as Inui and Kaidoh. It seemed that they had been talking and had stop to look at him in surprise. Kawamura was the first to regain his mind back and smiled.

"Come on in." he said and Ciel bowed awkwardly before entering.

"What brings you here? Did Oishi and Eiji tell you about this place? Or did Echizen?" asked Kawamura as Ciel sat on the empty chair by the counter.

"They all had mentioned a few times before about this sushi shop and how you all would celebrate her after your games and have meetings here. Ryoma mentioned to me before that after his first singles game, the one that he got injured in, you all were here and had a good time." Ciel told them which made Momo and Kawamura smile.

"Yeah, it was that game with Fudomine's Shinji Ibu. Echizen had been victim to that rambling guy's _Spot_. Echizen had spinned around recklessly and his hand had loosen its grip on the racquet. The racquet flew out his hand, hit the net post and shattered, and particles of the racquet flew back towards him and hit his right eye lid." Momo said as the rest recalled what had happened that day too.

Inui chuckled a bit.

"It was the same day that we had found out how stubborn Echizen could be and Fuji commented that Ryuzaki-sensei had a special kind of power and ad the bleeding stop when Oishi could even do it." The Data Master shared as well which Ciel laughed along Momo and Kawamura. Kaidoh smirked and chuckled.

After a while, Kawamura began to make multiple types of treats for Ciel.

"I-is…" Momo began but Ciel cut him off.

"Is Ryoma alright?" Momo nodded.

"He is. He is healing now and just needs time. What had happened to him back then… I don't even think you want to feel how he did. How broken he was and how he felt that he was all alone and that no matter what he did, nothing could bring back the lost of his lovers." Ciel said as he looked down on his hands.

Momo was still feeling a bit angry as well as a few others from their old tennis circuit.

"And even until now, Echizen loves them still, doesn't he?" Kaidoh asked and hissed as he always did when they were younger. It was a habit he had never gotten rid off but he didn't mind. He was still called _The Viper_ anyway. So the hissing fitted perfectly.

Ciel sighed and nodded.

"He does. However, he is just worried that if he came back, things would go back to how they were and that he'd get hurt again. Ryoma… he has been through hell and back again and Ryoga-nii, Kevin, Oishi-sempai, Eji-sempai, myself and the rest of the family don't want him to break apart once more when he comes back and things make a repeat of things had ended up between." Ciel told them and they all understood.

Ciel looked up at them with a sad smile on his face that broke their hearts.

"Besides, how could he unlove those five when his very happiness is them being together again? Just like how it all used to be.." Ciel asked them which left them in silence.

They didn't have an answer to it.

And it seemed that Ciel wouldn't be having the answer of it anytime soon as well.

**A/N: MY MOST DEEPEST AND MOST HEART FELT APOLOGY TO EVERYONE WHO HAD WAITED FOR UPDATES OF THIS TORY AS WELL AS OTHER STORIES. Since I had a proper keyboard now (even if I still don't have my laptop), my notebook will be enough for me to work on the next chapters of my stories.**

**So ****Read and Review**** my good people! Thank you for the patience. ^_^**


	5. Chapter 4

**DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN THE PRINCE OF TENNIS FRANCHISE NOR THE SONGS THAT WILL BE INCORPORATED THROUGHOUT THE WHOLE STORY. THANK YOU**

**AGAIN, I warn you all, THIS story will NOT have a happy ending. I have been known to kill Ryoma in other stories as well. YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED!**

* * *

**Chapter 4- ****A Journey Of A Thousand Miles Begins With A Single Step**

The next two days had been tiring for Ciel. Ryoga and Kevin had taken it upon themselves to be his managers while they were in Japan and now Ciel was wondering if Oishi and Eiji had made the right decision of not protesting with the two wanna-be managers. Ciel sighed as Nanjiroh drove him to the site where his photo shoot was located. Ryoga and Kevin had left for some reason and Oishi and Eiji had a press con to attend. So he was on his own for the day. Not that he minded. Ciel had been used to doing things on his own.

When he was dropped off and promised to be fetched again in three hours, Ciel was led to a tent that was prepared for him and had clothes that were for him to use for the shoot. He was told to rest for a while since the photographer had not arrived yet. Ciel nodded and took out his ipod and was glad that the tent he was given had speakers for him to use.

…

_Cold as ice_

_And more bitter than a December_

_Winter night_

_That's how you treated me_

_And you know that I_

_I sometimes tend to lose my temper_

_And you crossed the line_

_Yeah that's the truth_

..

_I know it gets hard sometimes_

_But I could never_

_Leave your side_

_No matter what I say_

..

_Cause if I wanted to go I would have gone by now,_

_But I really need you near me to_

_Keep my mind off the edge_

_If I wanted to leave I would have left by now_

_But you're the only one that knows me_

_Better than I know myself_

…

Ciel remembered that this was the first song he had written when he had left them. It was dedicated to Fuji actually. The tensai knew him better than he knew himself. Back then, Ciel had been torn to just go back and allow himself to be hurt as long as he had them. Especially Fuji. Because with him, Ciel didn't have to explain himself most of the time. Even with a few chosen words, Fuji would have understood him instantly.

He was brought out from his musing when he heard the tent's plastic flap being move and Ciel turned to see who it was. However, he didn't expect to see Fuji Syusuke standing there in front of him. To be fair, Fuji was just as stunned as Ciel.

"Michaelis-san… what are you doing here?" Fuji asked politely as he placed his camera down a bit.

"I should be the one asking you that… I'm here for a photo shoot scheduled by Ryoga-nii and Kevin." Ciel answered civilly.

"Oh… So you're my model then… I'm the photographer for this shoot…" Fuji trailed off. This was awkward even for him.

"If you want I can ask someone else to do the shoot if you aren't—" Ciel stopped him.

"No need. This is your job and I am your model. We shall do the shoot as professionals. Whatever issues we have with each other, is we have issues, we can forget about them for now. This is work. " he said which made Fuji nodded a bit and sigh.

Then the next verse of the song came on.

…

_All along_

_I tried to pretend it didn't matter_

_If I was alone_

_But deep down I know_

_If you were gone_

_For even a day I wouldn't know which way to turn_

_Cause I'm lost without you_

_.._

_I know it gets hard sometimes_

_But I could never_

_Leave your side_

_No matter what I say_

_.._

_Cause if I wanted to go I would have gone by now,_

_But I really need you near me to_

_Keep my mind off the edge_

_If I wanted to leave I would have left by now_

_But you're the only one that knows me_

_Better than I know myself_

…

The silence was a bit awkward for a bit until Fuji spoke.

"You wrote that song right?" Ciel nodded.

"I've heard of it… its kind of depressing."

"It is…"

"For some reason, I feel like the song was speaking to me…" Fuji continued.

"_If you only know… The song if for you Syu._" Ciel thought.

"How so?" Ciel asked.

Fuji thought about it for a few moments before he spoke.

"The words… It was how it was with Ryoma. When he left, my world just fell apart. Yes, I got my dream of being a famous photographer… but at what price? I lost that one person who understood me as I understood him." Fuji explained and sat down on the nearest chair.

Ciel just stood there, watching him. Fuji's eyes never lied and they were open right now. Those Cerulean blue eyes Ciel had dreamed for months before he managed to get a dreamless sleep was filled with regret and sorrow.

"I'm not sure if Ryoma told you… But back then, whenever he wanted to say something, he would just come to be and say a few words and I'd explain to the others." He chuckled sadly. "The rest would then stare at me then at him then back at me, asking how I got what Ryoma was saying in less words than what I used on the rest." Ciel froze. Fuji still remembered.

"Keigo would get so frustrated while Seichi would smiled back and nod. Kunimitsu and Gen would just then nod in understanding after processing what I tell them."

"You love him still don't you…" Ciel spoke in a whisper and Fuji nodded.

"I still do. He was my world… Ryoma could brighten up my day even if he wasn't doing anything. Just seeing him made me smile and know that my day would be alright."

Ciel wanted to cry. He really did. But he couldn't. He shouldn't.

"If you really loved him, you would have followed him. You wouldn't have made him leave." Ciel stated.

"I know… and I regret that every day. I died when he had left. And every single day, I wish I'm dead." Fuji said as tears ran down his face without him noticing.

And before he could think, Ciel gave Fuji a hug.

"You… you can cry for a little while. I won't tell anyone." Ciel offered as he wrapped his arms on Fuji's head and the older one just cried.

Ciel was holding back his own tears. He had Fuji back in his arms again but Fuji didn't know it was him, And Fuji was crying because he was regretting the past and what happened.

It took half an hour for Fuji to settle down once more and Ciel gave him a glass of water. Fuji took it graciously and drank it. His throat had suddenly become dry. For some reason, Fuji felt better after crying. He had not cried since the night Ryoma had left and now he just did. Ciel had comforted him and the presence was something familiar to the older brunette.

Ciel stood up to turn off his ipod and asked,

"What would you do if Ryoma did come back?"

Fuji looked at Ciel who had his back on him and took a deep breath.

"I will do everything it takes to bring him back. I will never lose hope that we will have our second chance." He answered with a new determination in his voice that Ciel noticed immediately.

Before Ciel could say anything, someone came into the tent and called Fuji so they could start the shoot. Fuji nodded and stood up, telling the assistant that he would be there. He turned to Ciel and smiled.

"Thank you… I feel better than I ever had for the past three years." Ciel turned to look at him and smiled back, Fuji's heart stopped for a moment.

"You're welcome." Ciel said as he turned to pick out something to wear and change.

Fuji walked out the tent, dazed a little. For a moment… Fuji thought he saw Ryoma in Ciel. The way the other smiled… It was how Ryoma smiled whenever something good had happened.

He wanted to think about it just a bit more but Fuji was called once more and he had to focus on work now. Like Ciel said, this was work. And Fuji was a professional. He was going to do his job as best as he could.

IIDY* IIDY* IIDY* IIDY* IIDY* IIDY* IIDY

The hours ticked by and Fuji couldn't help but hold his heart tight. Every snap of his camera, Ciel looked more and more like his Ryoma. His smile, his smirk, how he faced the camera was reminding Fuji how Ryoma acted when Fuji had asked him many years ago to model for him.

_~FLASHBACK~_

"_Ryo-chan… I promise. Just a few photos and two changes of clothes. Nothing more." Fuji has begged the green haired lover of his who was reading a book in the kitchen._

"_That was what you said the last time too. But it ended up as a two hour photo shoot and two dozen clothes later." Ryoma answered without looking at him._

_Fuji whined once more._

"_Please? I'll make it up to you… Anything you want…"_

_Ryoma took a deep sigh and lowered his book._

"_Can't you ask Sei or Kei instead? I'm sure they would jump in to have their photos taken." Ryoma told Fuji and the other pouted._

"_Those two are to hard to work with. Besides, they aren't as cute and adorable as you. My camera loves you and every photo I take of you comes out perfectly." Fuji said and sat down near Ryoma and placed his head on the younger's lap._

_Fuji knew Ryoma was going to give in when he took another deep sigh._

"_Alright… I will do this for you. But you will make it up to me after." Ryoma reminded him and the other nodded with a smile._

_Fuji stood up and kissed Ryoma._

"_Thank you Ryoma… I love you." Ryoma smiled._

"_I love you too, Syu… God knows why." He teased with a smirk and laughed._

_~END OF FLASHBACK~_

As Fuji looked at the photo's he had taken of Ciel, they all were perfect. The lighting was just right, the angles, and even the clothes. It amazed Fuji as well as the rest of the staff that the shoot went smoothly and even ended without having to extend their stay.

The staff began to pack and Fuji went to tell Ciel that the photos came out well and that they were all just waiting for their dinner to arrive. He stopped outside the tent and heard Ciel talking to some.

"_I know Oishi-sempai. You don't have to remind me."_ So Ciel was talking to Oishi then.

"_I was careful. I didn't say or do anything."_

"_Yeah… he cried though. He said he regretted that day."_

"_His eyes didn't lie, Oishi-sempai. You of all people should know him."_ Fuji was a bit surprised that Ciel was defending him to Oishi.

"_I know that! Don't you think I'm risking a lot by being here? You can blame Ryoga-nii and Kevin for this shoot too. They're the ones who had set me up with this. I'm sure they also knew that it was Syu—Fuji who was the photographer."_ Fuji wondered why Ciel was about to call him by his first name but it wasn't a big thing. It was just his name.

However, why did Ciel say that he was risking a lot by being here? In Japan?

"_I know. I know, Oishi-sempai. I get it. I'm going to change now so I can go home. I'll talk to you later."_ Fuji took it as a sign now that he can call out.

"Ciel? Are you dressed?" Fuji asked, pretending that he had not heard anything at all.

"I still am. Come on in." Ciel answered and Fuji went it.

"The crew are packing up and dinner is on its way. I just came by to tell you that." Fuji said with his usual smile now. Bit Ciel knew that the smile was not Fuji's true smile. Again, Ciel didn't say anything and just smiled back.

"Alright. I'll just change back to my clothes and I'll be out." He said as he grabbed his clothes from where they were hanging and went to the changing area.

"Hey uhm…. I was just wondering… What is it like to be a famous singer?" Fuji asked as he listened to Ciel shuffling to get dressed.

"Huh? Well… kind of cool really. A bit annoying sometimes when fans scream at you and tell you things that are obviously half heart. Like when they scream 'I love you', they only see the famous Ciel and not me as me. Being famous can be a bit lonely sometimes." Ciel answered.

"But surely you have a girlfriend right?" Fuji asked and chuckled.

Ciel chuckled as well and came back out dressed in his clothes again. Fuji's heart had to skip a few beats when he saw the smirk. It was so like Ryoma's.

"Oh I don't have a girlfriend. I don't bat for that team." He answered which made Fuji open his eyes in shock.

"Your gay?" Ciel was a bit stunned that Fuji didn't know. He knew that it was written in some magazine he couldn't remember that he had been seen dating and kissing some guy at some bar a few times.

"Yeah, I am. I am surprised you don't know since it was a big deal a while back. But it died down again and no one cares whether I go for men or women. Though I never been with a woman before." He said as he chuckled and got his ipod and placed it inside his bag and turned to Fuji.

"So… dinner?" Fuji nodded and smiled and led them out the tent.

He didn't know how he was going to be telling the others about his day, but Fuji was NOT going to forget to tell them about how Ciel's smirk was similar to Ryoma's.

IIDY* IIDY* IIDY* IIDY* IIDY* IIDY* IIDY

When Fuji returned to the flat, he found everyone gathered inside the kitchen, having tea. Atobe saw him first and waved for him to sit down and Sanada stood up to get him a cup of tea as well.

"How was your day?" Yukimura asked.

"I had a photo shoot today and you wouldn't believe who my model was." Fuji said with a smile and placed a kiss on Sanada's cheek when the man came with tea. Sanada kissed his forehead back for sitting down.

"Who was your model, Syu?" asked Atobe and Fuji smiled wider.

"Ciel Michaelis." He said and all eyes were on him.

"Alright. Details now, Syusuke." Tezuka said and Fuji chuckled.

"Well, I did tell you that I didn't know who my model was. It seemed that Ciel didn't know I was the photographer as well. Anyway, I got there and went I saw him I just froze. We talked for a bit. He was listening to the song 'Better than I know Myself' when I came in."

"That song you kept listening to and said that the song spoke to you every time?" Sanada asked and Fuji nodded.

"I told him about it. That his song was depressing and he admitted that it was. I told him that the song reminded me of Ryoma and how we were back then… I… I cried. And I didn't even know until he came close and told him that I could cry for just a little while." He said as he placed his cup down on the table, his eyes open and were recalling the events that happened earlier.

They all knew that Fuji had not cried for a very long time.

"What did Michaelis do?" asked Atobe and Fuji sighed.

"He held me close and just let me cry. He comforted me and for some reason, after I cried…. I felt so much better than I have since _that_ day." Fuji told them and no one said anything.

"During the shoot… I think my heart stopped beating a few times… The way Ciel smiled… smirked… moved and posed… It was like Ryoma was there instead of Ciel. I tried so hard to concentrate but all I could see was Ryoma. The photos… they came out perfectly. We didn't even had to extend. The lighting and the clothes played a roll but you know that it's the models that would make the clothes work. And Ciel did it. He made everything work so perfectly that every photo came out as if it was all natural." Fuji shared and then he turned serious and the other four straightened up.

"But there is more, isn't it?" asked Yukimura and Fuji nodded.

"After the shoot… I went to tell him that the whole crew was packing up and we were going to be having dinner together. I stopped outside his tent and heard him talking to Oishi on the phone. I only got half of the conversation but it seemed enough since Ciel kept telling Oishi that he had been careful and he had not said anything and that he knew. I don't know what he knew but he knew and Ciel kept telling Oishi that." Fuji said and they nodded.

"However… what struck me the most was when Ciel told Oishi that he knows the risks he was taking by being here. He even defended me when Ciel told him that he knew I wasn't lying when I told him that I still love Ryoma and that we would do everything to get him back and that I believe that our love has a second chance." This stunned the other men.

"Michaelis-san defended you against Oishi?" Yukimura asked once more just to make sure he heard right and Fuji nodded.

"Yeah. Ciel defended us to Oishi." Fuji told them

Tezuka, Sanada, and Atobe took deep breathes.

"So, our biggest alley at the moment is Michaelis. If we can show him that we really mean what we say and want Ryoma back, he'd help us and tell us at some point where Ryoma is." Atobe said but Fuji wasn't that sure.

"If you are willing to take that route… I want you to be careful. Because just like today…. I saw no one else but Ryoma in front of me. Even if they are relatives, it was too hard to see Ciel when my heart and mind showed me that it was Ryoma who was in front of my camera the whole time." Fuji said as he finished his tea, stood up, and went to his room to shower and rest. He had a busy day and he felt that he deserved to rest now.

Yes, despite having cried again after so long, Fuji didn't mind it. He actually felt better now and that was all that mattered. He had a new sense of hope now that everything would be alright in the end and that Ryoma would return to them and they all would live happy ever after.

IIDY* IIDY* IIDY* IIDY* IIDY* IIDY* IIDY

When the night was dead silent, Ciel sat up from bed and began to cough up blood. He stared at it for a while shaking for a bit until Kevin came in hearing him cough from across the hall. He panicked and woke up Ryoga who woke up his parents. Rinko ran down to fetch Ciel's medicine while Nanjiroh got a glass of water. Nanako was taking out new sheets from the linen closet and Ryoga had lifted up his brother so that Kevin could pull the bloodied sheets and Nanako could place the new ones. Kevin then went to get Ciel new clothes while Rinko administered Ciel his medicine. Ryoga had changed his brother after Nanjiroh gave Ryoga a went towel to clean Ciel up.

It didn't take long and Ciel went back to sleep again. Nanjiroh, Rinko, and Nanako went back to their rooms while Ryoga and Kevin stayed to watch Ciel just in case.

They had to sigh.

As the days went by, Ciel was not getting any better. Only worse.

Only time could tell now when it came to Ciel's life.

* * *

**A/N: ****Read and Review**** my good people! Thank you for the patience. ^_^**

**Song: Adam Lambert- Better Than I Know Myself (editted)**

**windy day1117- **the songs are popular songs that you here on the radio or t.v. I just edit the words a bit to fit the purpose.


	6. Chapter 5

**DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN THE PRINCE OF TENNIS FRANCHISE NOR THE SONGS THAT WILL BE INCORPORATED THROUGHOUT THE WHOLE STORY. THANK YOU**

**AGAIN, I warn you all, THIS story will NOT have a happy ending. I have been known to kill Ryoma in other stories as well. YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED!**

**For this chapter and the next, a group from another anime will be featuring as special guests. They will be appearing just for just TWO chapters so yeah… Enjoy.**

* * *

**Chapter 5- Amor regge senza legge **(Love rules without laws)

Oishi and Eiji were spending some time with old friends inside Kawamura's sushi. Ciel had been dragged by Ryoga and Kevin to Kami-sama knows where. And at the moment, they were glad that the two menaces didn't drag them along as well. The Golden pair loved Ciel but they also lived their lives so they made their escape while the other two were focused on Ciel who was trying to run away like them.

"So… How's like in Hawaii?" Momo asked as he ate one of the many variety of sushi's on his plate.

"Well, its warmer there for one thing. The sun is always out, the waves are always high. It's nice." Eiji said nonchalantly.

"It took us a while to get use to the new environment but it didn't take long. When not playing tennis, I still bowl from time to time and Eiji surfs." Oishi told them with a smile.

Inui was scribbling on his notebook again, like always, while the others were staring at Eiji who was concentrating on the meal in front of him. It had been a long while since he tasted Taka-san's sushi and Hawaii, though they had people who could make sushi, couldn't make it the same way Kawamura Takashi did.

They talked about tennis, Hawaii, Momo's family, and other things before they could here shuffling outside the doors of the sushi bar.

"But Aka-chin, how do you know they would be here?" asked a familiar voice.

Oishi and Eiji tried to remember where they had heard the voice before and the name that was used.

"I am sure Atsushi because I am always right." Said another voice which was full of confident and was hard as rock.

The door opened and Oishi dropped his cup of tea while Eiji chocked.

Before the old circle of Seigaku Tennis team, stood Akashi Seijuro… the sadistic relative of Ryo-Ciel.

"See? I told you they would be here. Suichiro. Kikumaru." Akashi called their names and they quickly stood up.

"A-a-a-akashi…. What are you doing here?" asked Oishi nervously.

Akashi entered the sushi bar with Atsushi right behind him. Oishi knew that the rest would follow suit and he wasn't disappointed. Midorima Shintaro, Lise Ryouta, and Aomine Daiki entered and the door closed.

"Waaah! We finally found you Oishicchi! Kikuicchi!" Kise greeted and hugged Eiji who smiled and hugged back.

No one noticed that a certain lught blue haired male sat down where Oishi had sat not too long ago.

"Can I have this sushi, Oishi-san?" the invisible male asked.

Everyone gasped for a moment then calmed down. Oishi and Eiji as well as the rest of the Kiseki no Sedai sweat dropped.

"Go ahead, Kuroko. It's good." Oishi said and turned back to face the heterochromatic eyed male.

"Like I asked, why are you here, Akashi?" Akashi merely smirked which sent shivers up everyone's spine.

"Well, we heard Nanako that _Ciel_ is in the country. Its rude that you didn't inform me, Suichiro. I would have dropped my schedule just spend time with my cousin." Akashi said as he sat down on the tatami mat and snapped his fingers for the rest of the group to sit down as well.

Oishi was now worried. Akashi knew exactly why Ciel was in the country. He wouldn't put it pass Akashi to have kept tabs on Ciel.

"We'll have a round of your specialty please." Akashi ordered and Oishi sat down where Eiji used to sit and Eiji moved to sit next to Momo and Inui.

Kawamura nodded and began to prepare the order and left Oishi to handle the new customers since it was obvious that they knew each other.

"So, where is Ciel-san, Oishi-san?" Kuroko asked as he drank the tea that Kawamura had served him before starting the order.

Oishi sighed.

"Ciel is with Ryoga and Kevin. I don't know where those two had dragged him off to since we escaped before we got caught by them and dragged away as well." Oishi answered and Akashi just nodded.

Oishi turned to his old teammates and smiled.

"Minna, the redhead is Akashi Seijuro, cousin of Ciel, Ryoma, and Ryoga. This light blue haired one is Kuroko Tetsuya, Akashi's secretary. The dark blue haired one is Aomine Daiki, his business analyst. The blond is Kise Ryouta, a model and singer like Ciel. They had a few songs in Ciel's last album together as well. The green haired man is Midorima Shintaro, Akashi's personal lawyer, and the purple haired tall man is Murasakibara Atsushi, his pastry and culinary chef. And together, they used to be the Kiseki no Sedai of Teiko Middle School." Oishi introduced them and the Seigaku, sans Eiji, were in awe.

"The chef behind the counter is Kawamura Takashi, our power tennis player. The spikey haired one is Momoshiro Takashi, also a power player. The one with the green bandana is Kaidoh Kaoru, our endurance player, and the one next to him with glasses is Sadaharu Inui, our data player. As you already know, we were Seigaku's tennis team during Ryoma's freshman year." Oishi said and the Seigaku bowed.

Midorima fixed his glasses and cleared his throat.

"If you replace your signage outside and add a small neon light signage for the evening use, your shop will increase its income by almost fifty percent." He said and the Seigaku sans Oishi and Eiji were in awe.

Kawamura had finished the order in ten minutes and the others began to eat while Oishi and Akashi were mentally conversing with each other. The staring game would have lasted longer if Kuroko had not stuffed a shrimp sushi into Akashi's mouth. Oishi, Eiji and the rest of the Kiseki no Sedai waited for the redhead's reaction.

Akashi turned to Kuroko and smiled.

"Good choice Tetsuya. I like that one. What else do you like?" he asked with a smiled and Kuroko pointed to three others which Akashi tried because Kuroko pointed them out.

Only Kuroko could get away with such a stunt and would be rewarded with a smile by Akashi.

Eiji chuckled and shook his head before turning to his friends.

"If you couldn't tell, Kuroko is also Akashi's fiancé." Eiji said.

"Kikucchi, Kurokocchi is already Akashicchi's husband. They got married a week ago in France. You guys were busy preparing to return here and Ryo—ga-san and Kevin had said that you both would have gone with Ciel if you didn't have to come here." Kise said as he mentally slapped himself for nearly calling Ciel 'Ryoma'.

Akashi and the rest eyed Kise who shrunk down where he was sitting and had his head bowed low. He was going to be punished for sure when they leave the sushi place. Oishi smiled as he turned to Akashi and Kuro—Tetsuya.

"Congratulations. I totally forgot with everything that had happened here. I probably should start calling Kuroko 'Tetsuya' now and you Seijuro." Oishi said as he chuckled.

"Well, I did inform you that you should get used to calling Tetsuya and I by our first names." Akashi said with a smirk on his face.

Eiji flew to sit next to Tetsuya and asked how the wedding was and if they had pictures.

The Seigaku members congratulated the pair as well and were thanked by the couple.

"Back to what you said Oishi, what do you mean a lot has happened?" Midorima asked as he cleared his throat.

Eiji and Oishi stiffened.

"When we came to the funeral, _they_ were there as well." Oishi answered.

"And they came _together_ too." Eiji added with a sneered.

It didn't take much to understand that the Golden Pair meant Tezuka, Fuji, Atobe, Yukimura, and Sanada. However, the rest of the Seigaku members wondered why it would matter so much to the other group.

Aomine, Kise, Midorima, Atsushi, and Tetsuya stiffened while Akashi narrowed his eyes at the Golden Pair who looked angry.

"Was Ciel with you then?" asked Atsushi who actually stopped eating to join in the conversation.

The Golden pair nodded.

"Atobe being himself, was rude when Ciel suggested that the whole group not talked about Ryoma. Atobe had jumped on the whole 'do you think we haven't suffered?' cart and we got involved. Ciel was smart enough to remember and the others who were there agreed. Seigaku wasn't the only team to have paid their respects. Most if not all of our old rivals and friends had also visited which we had thanked them for before we left." Oishi explained and Akashi nodded.

"Well, it seems that I shall have to meet this Atobe Keigo character. If he is how you describe him, then Ryoma is far off better away from them." He said and the Kiseki no Sedai nodded.

When they had met Ryoma, he was all broken and shattered into pieces. Along with the Golden pair, Ryoga, and Kevin, they had tried their best to fix the man the world knows now as Ciel. And their efforts had not been in vain.

"Does that mean you know Ryo—" Momo was about to asked but Akashi raised his hand.

"If you are going to ask if we know where Ryoma is, we shall answer truthfully. Yes, we do. But we are not telling you where he is. It is not our secret to tell. However, what we can tell you is that he is fine and is healing. He just stepped down from the limelight since his last match took a toll on him. His mental state as well as his emotional well being was hanging by a small strand of thread. If you want to send him a message, I'm sure Suichiro and Kikumaru will receive it for you and tell Ryoma. They leave messages and Ryoma would usually send a reply back after a day or two." Akashi told the Seigaku members who then looked sad once more.

"I knew you'd something like that… Oishi-sempai already said it… I just hoped that… Echizen was my best friend and I was one of those who encouraged him to go after his dreams and his heart. If I had known that he'd get hurt by them, I wouldn't have supported the idea from the beginning." Momo said as he was beating himself up again like he did when Ryoma had disappeared.

"It's not really your fault. It's no ones fault but those involved. If you had known what would have happened, you would have been adamant to keep Ryoma away from those five. But you didn't. You, like the rest, hoped that they would keep, care, love, and treasure him. They made their mistakes. They're paying for it now." Tetsuya said as he looked at Momo with is blank facial expression.

But Momo understood what the other meant. He just still felt a bit sad that he probably would never see his cocky best friend again.

**IIDY* IIDY* IIDY* IIDY* IIDY* IIDY* IIDY**

After an hour, Oishi and Eiji left the sushi bar with the Kiseki no Sedai and headed straight to the Echizen residence. The walk was quiet and no one dared to break it. Akashi was holding Tetsuya's hand the whole while, trying to comfort his sad husband that Ryoma… or Ciel as they gave to call him now, was troubled again. He should not have come and stayed in Japan.

When the group got home, Ciel was in his room when Akashi knocked on his door.

"Sei? What are you doing here?" Ciel asked as he turned away from his table and face his cousin who entered his room and closed the door.

"I heard you came back so I dropped everything and came here. You missed my wedding so I'm here to collect the fine." Akashi teased as he gave his cousin a hug.

Ciel chuckled.

"I know and I'm sorry. If there is anything I can do to make up for it, let me know." He said as he ushered Akashi to sit on the bed as he pulled his chair away from his table and sit across the other.

"Well, now that you mention it… I was hoping you could sing a few songs for a grand opening of a new mall I've invested in. The opening is in three days and I was thinking of calling you up when I returned home. Tetsuya and the others are downstairs by the way. Ryouta is with Ryoga and Kevin doing who knows what. Better we don't know. Deniability would be used best just in case." Akashi joked and Ciel laughed lightly.

"Don't be mean to him, Sei. Yes, Kise can be a bit of a handful like Ryoga-nii and Kevin… but its entertaining." Ciel said with a sincere smiled.

"I know… We met the rest of your teammates from Seigaku sans two others at Kawamura's sushi bar. Suichiro and Kikumaru had taken shelter there while you were in Ryoga and Kevin's mercies." Akashi said with a smirk and Ciel groaned.

"Please don't remind me. We had gone to Shibuya because Kevin had never been there before. And I don't know how THAT happened. His been in Japan loads of times but his never gone to Shibuya. Those two had shopped like crazy and I was dragged around, tried dozens of clothes, and was nearly trampled over by women when I got recognized." Ciel told his cousin who actually laughed at his misfortune.

After a while, they both went quiet.

"I heard you met your former lovers at the funeral. And that you are thinking of forgiving them." Akashi said as he took a deep breath and crossed his arms.

Ciel had sighed and nodded. There was no point in lying to him.

"My days are numbered cousin… I have forgiven them already… they just don't know it yet. I just want to spend the remaining time I have here to make peace and be as happy as I possibly can knowing that I won't live to have white hair." Ciel said which made Akashi frown.

"You really are giving up on the hope that the doctors would find a solution to your case?" Ciel nodded.

"I've been away from them for three years. One year I was high up and two years after, I've hidden because of what happened. Within the two years, you know well how many doctors I've spoken to and have looked at me. They all say the same thing. Nothing will be able to heal me. My internal organs are trying their best to keep me alive as long as I don't play tennis. I miss it so much but if it adds years to my life then I am very much willing to give it up."

Akashi was still trying to find better doctors for Ciel. But it was Ciel who finally said no and just accepted the fact that he wouldn't live long enough. Akashi sighed deeply.

"Alright… I know you will forgive them. I can see it happen already. But I want to punish them first for what they had done to you. Consider it as my way of fighting for you when I wasn't there when you needed me the most." Akashi told Ciel who smiled and nodded.

"I'll accept it without fighting or argument since I know you'd do it still even if I say no." Akashi smirked.

"How well you know me, cousin." And Ciel laughed as both stood up to join the others for dinner downstairs.

**IIDY* IIDY* IIDY* IIDY* IIDY* IIDY* IIDY**

The next day, Akashi was waiting for the arrival of his new business partner: Atobe Keigo.

From what Akashi knew, his cousin's lovers didn't even know much about Ryoma's mother's side of the family. Which suited him just fine since he could torture the Atobe CEO and had legitimate reasons for it.

Tetsuya entered his office with his usual look of aloofness.

"His here." was all that was said and Akashi stood up to button his black suit.

Tetsuya fixed his red tie and smiled a bit.

"No blood shedding. We just had the conference room cleaned yesterday." Tetsuya joked and Akashi laughed before giving his husband a kiss.

"No blood shed." He promised and headed to the conference room with Tetsuya right behind him.

When they arrived, Midorima and Aomine were already there as well. Atobe had brought along two other people he didn't know but Akashi could careless.

"Thank you for waiting. It's a pleasure to _finally_ meet the infamous Atobe Keigo. Photos and interviews don't do you justice." Akashi complimented and Atobe sat straighter.

"Thank you for the compliment. Photos and rumors don't do you equal justice as well. These are Oshitari Yushi, Atobe Corp.'s lawyer, and Wakashi Hiyoshi, my assistant." Atobe introduced his companions who nodded at Akashi as greeting.

"Welcome. I'm sure you already know who I am. The one with glasses is Midorima Shintaro, our lawyer, the other is Aomine Daiki, the business analyst, and this is my secretary and husband, Tetsuya." The three bowed politely while the other three stared in shock.

They had NOT known that Akashi Seijuro was married. And they didn't know that he was married to a man as well.

"Good day. The opening of the new mall is in two days and we came to discus final program plans and to give you the signed contracts that your company has sent over. They have been reviewed, approved, and signed. As for the program, we are still looking for someone who would sing for the opening. We had complied a list of possible choices and would like you to look them over." Atobe said as he pushed a folder towards Tetsuya who was about to reach for it but was stopped by Akashi.

"No need. I've already found someone who would be willing to do the job and I have absolute trust that he would be able to live up to his reputation for our opening." Akashi said with a confident smirk which made Tetsuya, Midorima, and Aomine turned to look at him. They knew who it was.

With a deep breath, Atobe pulled the folder back.

"Very well then. Aside from that, most of the program are nearly done and the preparations have already been made." Atobe said as Akashi nodded again.

"That is good to hear." Akashi said and was about to say something when the conference room doors opened and Ciel came in.

"Sei, I was wondering if you—Oh. Sorry." Ciel said as he stopped whatever he was saying when he say that they were having a meeting and who his cousin was with: Atobe.

Akashi smirked.

"Ciel… come in. We were just talking about you. I had just told Atobe that we have a singer for the opening of the new mall. His the business partner I mentioned to you yesterday." He said as Ciel walked over with a raised brow.

Damn the redhead for being sneaky.

"Good morning to you, Atobe-san." Ciel greeted politely as he sat next to Tetsuya.

Atobe was stunned when Ciel had entered. It shocked him more when the singer seemed to be close to Akashi. Atobe nodded back.

"Good day, Michaelis-san. Yes, Akashi had just mentioned that he had found someone for the opening. I have to say I'm surprised that he meant you." Ciel narrowed his eyes.

"And what does that supposed to mean? You think Sei made the wrong choice of hiring me for the opening?" Ciel asked coldly.

Atobe quickly shook his head. Now that he was looking at Ciel, he understood why Fuji said he saw Ryoma instead of Ciel. A shiver had ran down Atobe's back when Ciel called Akashi 'Sei'. It was what Ryoma called Seichi. And how Ciel quickly reacted to him when he said that he was surprised was similar to how Ryoma would instantly narrow his eyes at him whenever he would have spoken something that left opening for his younger lover to raise a brow and question his statements.

"Not at all. I just did not expect that he had gotten you since you probably knew that his business partner was me and that we had gotten on the wrong foot and all." Atobe tried to explain but Ciel shook his head.

"As I told Fuji-san when we had worked together for his photo shoot, work is work. I don't mix my personal life with my work life so whatever issues I have with you, will not be brought up while I am working. And just so you know, I didn't know that you were Sei's business partner. He had failed to mentioned that part to me yesterday." Ciel said as he turned to his cousin who was just smirking.

"I didn't know that it mattered, Ciel." Akashi said which Ciel wasn't buying.

"Well, it doesn't. I came by to submit to you a list of songs you wanted. My band is ready and were already rehearsing. As you asked, we would be singing songs from my albums and it's not all up beat." Ciel said as he slid a thin notebook to Akashi who took it and looked at it over.

Atobe, Yushi, and Hiyoshi stared at Ciel then at Akashi then back at Ciel. Hiyoshi on the other hand, stared hard at Ciel. There was something about him that felt like he knew the other. Not as the famous singer but as something else. What it was, he didn't know. But he knew it was something important.

"The list is good. I'll be looking forward to seeing you perform with Kise then. As long as he's with you, it keeps the office from bursting into flames." Akashi commented which made Tetsuya, Midorima, and Aomine snort and snicker.

"His not that hard to handle. One glare and he behaves. Anyway, I had something to do but we're working on a new song and I wanted you to hear it. But since Atobe-san and company is here, unbiased opinion would be very much welcomed." Ciel said as he pulled out a cd and gave it to Tetsuya before turning to face Atobe.

"If you aren't busy that is."

Atobe shook his head.

"It would be an honor to hear a work in progress, if not a demo of a new song. Fuji is a fan of yours. So I'd have something to tell him later." Atobe said politely which Ciel just nodded to.

"It's a minus one so I'll be singing live for you all." Ciel said.

Aomine and Midorima were fans of Ciel's songs as well. This was a treat for them and would have something to brag over Kise who probably hasn't heard the song yet.

…

_So I got my boots on,_

_Got the right amount of leather_

_And I'm doing me up with a black colored liner_

_And I'm working my strut but I know it don't matter_

_All we need in this world is some love_

_.._

_There's a thin line 'tween the dark side,_

_And the light side, baby tonight_

_It's a struggle, gotta rumble, tryin'a find it_

_.._

_But if I had you,_

_That would be the only thing I'd ever need_

_Yeah if I had you,_

_The money, fame and fortune never could compete_

_If I had you,_

_Life would be a party, it'd be ecstasy_

_Yeah, if I had you_

_Y-y-y-y-you y-y-y-y-y-you y-y-y-y-y-you_

_If I had you_

…

As Ciel was singing, he was moving about the room, interacting with the people as he usually did when having concerts. He was brushing Aomine's cheek and lifted Midorima's chin which made the made blush beet red. Atobe could not take his eyes of Ciel the whole while. The way he moved… the way he sang… the way he looked back at Atobe from time to time made him shiver. However, he also felt a bit angry that Ciel was touching those men in the first place. Atobe had to remind himself that the once performing was Ciel and NOT Ryoma.

"_Was this how you felt Syusuke?_" Atobe thought to himself as he watched Ciel moved against the beat.

…

_From New York to LA getting high, rock and rolling_

_Get a room trash it up 'til it's ten in the morning_

_Girls in stripper heels, boys rolling in Maserati's_

_What they need in this world is some love_

_.._

_There's a thin line 'tween the wild time,_

_And a flat-line, baby tonight_

_It's a struggle gotta rumble, tryin'a find it_

_.._

_But if I had you,_

_That would be the only thing I'd ever need_

_Yeah if I had you,_

_The money, fame and fortune never could compete_

_If I had you,_

_Life would be a party, it'd be ecstasy_

_Yeah, if I had you_

_Y-y-y-y-you y-y-y-y-y-you y-y-y-y-y-you_

_If I had-_

…

As Ciel continued with his demo performance, he was now staring straight at Atobe. They're eyes connected the whole while as if Ciel was singing to him, telling him something. Atobe was NOT slow on the uptake. But he was torn inside because he knew it wasn't Ryoma that was singing to him… teasing him… _seducing him._

…

_The flashing of the lights_

_It might feel so good_

_But I got you stuck on my mind, yeah_

_The fashion and the stage, it might get me high_

_But it don't mean a thing tonight_

_.._

_That would be the only thing I'd ever need_

_Yeah if I had you,_

_The money, fame and fortune never could compete_

_If I had you,_

_Life would be a party it'd be ecstasy_

_Yeah if I had you_

_Y-y-y-y-you y-y-y-y-y-you y-y-y-y-y-you_

_If I had you_

_.._

_That would be the only thing I'd ever need_

_Yeah if I had you,_

_The money, fame and fortune never could compete_

_(Never could compete with you)_

_If I had you, life would be a party, it'd be ecstasy_

_(It'd be ecstasy with you)_

_Yeah if I had you_

_Y-y-y-y-you y-y-y-y-y-you y-y-y-y-y-you_

_If I had you._

…

The song ended and the whole room applauded as Ciel smirked and bowed. If that was a demo, Atobe couldn't imagine what he was like when he was having a concert. Aomine had handed Ciel his untouched bottled water which the singer smiled and thanked him for.

"Wow… I don't think the music videos you make do you any form of justice. That raw performance was far better than most I have ever seen my whole career." Atobe complimented with a smiled on his face.

Ciel couldn't help but smile back.

"Thank you. I _always give it my all_ whether it was for a demo or a concert." Ciel told Atobe who noticed the phrase that was spoken as the key note of the whole sentence.

It felt somewhat familiar but Atobe couldn't put his finger on it.

After a few more minutes and minor finalization, Atobe and his company stood up to take their leave. Atobe extending his hand to Akashi who shook it tight.

"We'll be seeing each other on the opening then." Atobe said and Akashi nodded.

Atobe turned to Ciel.

"I'll tell Fuji that he has something to look forward to on your next album, yes?" Ciel nodded and smiled.

"Please. And send my regards as well. I've gotten copies of the work we had and they are perfect. Thank him for me." Ciel said politely as he exited the conference room first to head over to Akashi's office with Midorima and Aomine right behind him.

Atobe, Oshitari, and Hiyoshi left and Akashi went to his office with Tetsuya beside him.

"You are a sadist, Ciel." Akashi commented which made Ciel laughed.

"Well, we are cousins. It's not unusual for me to be me since you are you." Ciel retorted back with a smirk which made Tetsuya, Midorima, and Aomine snicker.

Akashi laughed along as he leaned back on his seat.

"I'm looking forward to seeing them suffer a little bit before I take my hands off." The redhead said and they all knew that he meant what he said.

**IIDY* IIDY* IIDY* IIDY* IIDY* IIDY* IIDY**

As they were leaving the building, Atobe was quiet the whole time. Oshitari and Hiyoshi were looking at each other and sighed.

"there is something… familiar about Ciel Michaelis. Like I've met him before somehow. Not as him but as someone else." Hiyoshi said as he was in deep thought.

Atobe turned to him and raised a brown.

"What do you mean?" Hiyoshi as silent for a little bit.

"Well, the way he moved. It was confident which was normal for someone who has a status as him. But there was something else there. The familiarity which was I surprised that you didn't notice it Atobe-san. It felt really like I saw—" he stopped which made Oshitari and Atobe look at him.

"Saw who, Hiyoshi?" asked Oshitari but he had a feeling who the other meant.

"Like I saw Echizen Ryoma instead of Ciel Michaelis."

All three of them when dead quiet until they got to back to Atobe Corp. Before he got down, he turned to the other two with a serious look on his face.

"I want you to find out everything you can about Ciel Michaelis and Akashi Seijuro. I want to know how they are related and how they are connected with the Echizen family. I want everything, even dirt if you find anything. If they are hiding something, I want you to find it. Call in a few others if needed. You have two days." He ordered and the other two nodded.

Atobe was going to find out just want they are hiding and he'll do everything just to find his beloved and have him back with them, even if lost everything else.

* * *

**A/N: ****Read and Review**** my good people! Thank you for the patience. ^_^**

**Song:** If I Had You by Adam Lambert


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